Signs your nervous system is dysregulated (and what to do about it)
You feel tired, but you can't sleep. You feel anxious, but you can't point to a reason. You snap at small things, then feel numb to bigger ones. You've tried breathing exercises, journalling, even therapy - and yet something still feels off.
If any of this sounds familiar, it may not be a mindset problem. It may be your nervous system.
What is nervous system dysregulation?
Your nervous system is your body's internal safety system. At its simplest, it has two modes: activation (fight or flight, driven by the sympathetic nervous system) and rest (calm and recovery, driven by the parasympathetic nervous system). In an ideal world, you move fluidly between the two - alert when you need to be, settled when the threat has passed.
Dysregulation happens when that fluidity breaks down. Your system gets stuck - either in a state of high alert, where everything feels threatening and overwhelming, or in a kind of shutdown, where you feel flat, disconnected, or numb. Neither is a character flaw. Both are your nervous system doing its best to protect you, usually based on patterns laid down long ago.
Common signs to look out for
Nervous system dysregulation can show up in very different ways in different people. You might not recognise all of these - but even a handful of them appearing regularly can be a signal worth paying attention to.
Emotional and mental signs:
Persistent anxiety or a sense of dread that doesn't have a clear cause
Difficulty coming down from stress even when the stressor has passed
Emotional numbness, or feeling disconnected from yourself and others
Mood swings or feeling easily overwhelmed by things that seem small
Brain fog, difficulty concentrating, or a feeling of mental heaviness
Physical signs:
Chronic tension in the jaw, neck, shoulders or chest
Digestive issues - bloating, nausea, IBS-type symptoms
Fatigue that doesn't improve with rest
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
A racing heart, shallow breathing, or a general feeling of being on edge
Behavioural signs:
Avoiding situations that feel overstimulating
Struggling to feel present or grounded in your body
Difficulty relaxing, even during quiet time or on holiday
A pull towards numbing behaviours - scrolling, alcohol, overworking
It's worth noting that these symptoms are often misattributed to anxiety disorders, burnout, or depression - and while there can be overlap, the root cause is frequently a nervous system that has learned to live in survival mode.
Why does this happen?
Dysregulation rarely has a single cause. For many people, it develops slowly over time - through prolonged stress, unresolved emotional experiences, or a childhood environment where the nervous system never fully learned that it was safe to settle. Big life events can trigger it, but so can the accumulation of smaller, seemingly manageable stresses that the body never fully discharged.
This is why nervous system work is different from simply "managing stress." It isn't about learning new coping strategies - it's about helping the body remember how to feel safe.
What actually helps
Because dysregulation lives in the body, body-based approaches tend to be the most effective route to lasting change. This includes:
Somatic practices — gentle, body-aware work that helps the nervous system process and release what it has been holding
Breathwork — using conscious breathing patterns to shift the body out of activation and back towards regulation
Reiki — a gentle energy-based practice that supports deep relaxation and a return to internal stillness
Qigong — slow, intentional movement that cultivates awareness and helps regulate the body's energy system
These aren't quick fixes. But with consistent support, most people start to notice a shift — feeling more settled in their bodies, more spacious in their responses, and more able to access moments of genuine rest.
A note on going gently
If you recognise yourself in this, it's worth knowing that trying to force regulation — pushing through, overriding your symptoms, willing yourself to feel better - often backfires. The nervous system responds to safety, not pressure.
The most supportive thing you can do is approach this with curiosity rather than urgency. You don't have to fix everything at once. You just have to begin.
If you'd like to explore what nervous system support could look like for you, you can find out more about my 1:1 healing sessions - available in person across Richmond, Teddington and Kingston, and online.
